You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
