You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
