my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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