she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
