Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
