Porn is love you can see.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
