if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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