these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
