that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize