he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
