Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
