Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
