Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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