The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
