Me. At least after what I've been through.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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