They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
