Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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