My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
