I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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