Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
