We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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