Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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