there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
