puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
