he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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