I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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