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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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• (631): View more from New York

  You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.

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