ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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