Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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  (708): He uses pillows to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/f9f4
  Replies (39) Good night (868) Bad night (3253)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?

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  (865): you can't get genital warts from dogs can you? http://tfl.nu/z1i1
  Replies (43) Good night (898) Bad night (14514)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.

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  (972): I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches. http://tfl.nu/t94t
  Replies (15) Good night (5679) Bad night (1246)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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  (919): It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it" http://tfl.nu/8bv4
  Replies (11) Good night (5461) Bad night (1107)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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  (216): For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma http://tfl.nu/ysyc
  Replies (14) Good night (1287) Bad night (3569)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (765)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

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  (289): God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore. (519): Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor. http://tfl.nu/xdad
  Replies (8) Good night (1381) Bad night (513)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"

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  (513): You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest" http://tfl.nu/n3kn
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (366)
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  (714): View more from California

  I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.

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  (714): I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets. http://tfl.nu/myn2
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (357)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.

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  (402): You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills. http://tfl.nu/g7ig
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (277)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.

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  (303): I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand. http://tfl.nu/gjk1
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (226)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

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  (301): You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel. http://tfl.nu/bfut
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.

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  (301): Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/x1wc
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (189)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.

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  (512): Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point. http://tfl.nu/r9ru
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (203)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...

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  (478): Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole... http://tfl.nu/urfe
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (223)

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