Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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(202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy

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(896): View more from

i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

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(896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv

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(785): View more from Kansas

Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.

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(785): Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours. http://tfl.nu/zm6d

Replies (17) Good night (4750) Bad night (786)
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(424): View more from California

Do u kno any dealers?

(1-424): View more from California

I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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(424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw

Replies (36) Good night (2848) Bad night (7632)
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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2390) Bad night (4597)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself

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(864): Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself http://tfl.nu/j8cd

Replies (66) Good night (6872) Bad night (1272)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups

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(651): i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups http://tfl.nu/8ph5

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol

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(+44): It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol http://tfl.nu/lr14

Replies (7) Good night (3088) Bad night (889)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer

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(205): Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer http://tfl.nu/3cgt

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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(704): I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all. http://tfl.nu/3ryw

Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (1781)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

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(603): Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today. (603): Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me. http://tfl.nu/6wu2

Replies (3) Good night (2808) Bad night (675)
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(626): View more from California

you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup

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(626): you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup http://tfl.nu/p78v

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

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(615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke

Replies (1) Good night (933) Bad night (325)
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(435): View more from Utah

Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.

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(435): Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus. http://tfl.nu/v0t7

Replies (6) Good night (559) Bad night (405)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.

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(586): Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too. http://tfl.nu/y4xc

Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (380)

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