What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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