From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
