so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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