ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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