ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
