doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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