Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize