Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
