hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
