It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
