Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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