it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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