I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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