Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Be still, my beating vagina.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
