somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Never underestimate the power of titties
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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