TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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