who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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