If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He passed out mid-signature
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Text me some of your sweat
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