dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
