Sponge bath it is.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
