We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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