that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize