Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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