Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
