If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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