I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
