Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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