I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
