no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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