hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
