So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
