Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
