When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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