I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
