I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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