I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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