Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
