You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
