Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
